the shadowy blossom of my hair will hide us from the bitter storm

November 29, 2008

Sorry about the copious amount of self-portraits, but I am rather fascinated with my hair in this state, so just a couple more, I promise:

sorry about all of the self-portraits, but i figured i should document the straight hair while it's still around

I quite like that shirt, as it makes me feel slightly gamine, which is a nice contrast to how awkward and klutzy and weird I usually feel.

& This is about as corny as I get, folks:

)

I noticed him sitting up on a shelf this morning & thought he deserved to be in a picture. He has great sentimental value for me, as my parents bought him for me at Pike Place Market in Seattle when I went off to college at the University of Washington. because, you know what? No matter how tough you might think you are at 18, you’re probably not, and you probably need a teddy bear to cuddle as you move away from home for the first time.

& Speaking of Pike Place, if you visit Seattle and don’t go to the market, you’ll be doing yourself a great disservice. It’s an absolutely amazing place, full of fabulously overwhelming sights and food and people and a wonderful view of Puget Sound, and it’s also designed in this amazingly labyrinthesque way that I love to bits. It’s great to wander down to the lower levels and find little bookshops and such. Plus, you can visit the first ever Starbucks, which is pretty cool.

& I’m still on my Yeats kick, so I made a little video of me reading “The Heart of the Woman,” and “The Lover mourns for the Loss of Love.” It’s short, and it’s not too terribly dorky, I hope:

more about "reading yeats’s "the heart of the wom…", posted with vodpod

& Here’s a lovely quote from “The Heart of the Woman”:

beautiful quote from yeats's "the heart of the woman." oh, yes.

& Lest you think that I just spend my days wrapped up in poetry books, consider this: I just listened to “Big Bottom” from This is Spinal Tap FIVE TIMES IN A ROW. Ha! I can’t get enough of that damn song, or that damn movie, for that matter. No matter how many times I hear the line, “big game is waiting there inside her tights!” I will think that it’s one of the funniest things EVER, I swear. Ha!

More soon. Thanks, dears!


it's hard to hold the hand of anyone who is reaching for the sky just to surrender

November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving was alright. Tofurkey turned out okay.

Various family members love to straighten and style my hair, so I ended up with super-straight, super-long hair yesterday. It’s seriously down to the middle of my back when it’s straight. Insane! It doesn’t even feel like my hair, if that makes sense. It keeps getting in my way and it’ll startle me for a second until I realize it’s my hair and not some random furry creature crawling up my back or something. But I do love it, I must admit:

various family members love to straighten/style my hair & thus, i ended up with straight hair today. i love it! it's halfway down my back now. dude!

yes, i know that i look like a stoned, brainless, trampy weirdo here, but i still like the photo, for some reason. i like my straight, long hair. let me be shallow for a moment.

And I KNOW that second picture is really stupid. I look stoned, slutty, and brainless. But I like it, nonetheless.

Right now, it’s snowing. Whoa! And I refuse to leave the house until tonight because of all of the insane shoppers out there. Bah.

& I found this on YouTube today. It’s Leonard Cohen performing “The Stranger Song,” from 1967. So beautiful. As soon as I started watching it, I started crying. I swear, if I ever need to fake-cry for some reason, I’ll just go listen to/watch him sing/perform, and I’ll have all of the tears I need:

Anyway, hope you’re all well. More soon. xo


it’s hard to hold the hand of anyone who is reaching for the sky just to surrender

November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving was alright. Tofurkey turned out okay. I managed to not overeat. Shocking!

Various family members love to straighten and style my hair, so I ended up with super-straight, super-long hair yesterday. It’s seriously down to the middle of my back when it’s straight. Insane! It doesn’t even feel like my hair, if that makes sense. It keeps getting in my way and it’ll startle me for a second until I realize it’s my hair and not some random furry creature crawling up my back or something. But I do love it, I must admit:

various family members love to straighten/style my hair & thus, i ended up with straight hair today. i love it! it's halfway down my back now. dude!

yes, i know that i look like a stoned, brainless, trampy weirdo here, but i still like the photo, for some reason. i like my straight, long hair. let me be shallow for a moment.

And I KNOW that second picture is really stupid. I look stoned, slutty, and brainless. But I like it, nonetheless.

Right now, it’s snowing. Whoa! And I refuse to leave the house until tonight because of all of the insane shoppers out there. Bah.

& I laughed so hard at the entire A Colbert Christmas, but this was probably my favorite song. It’s “The Little Dealer Boy,” with Willie Nelson & Stephen. When Stephen’s head pops up, singing “Are you high?” I could not stop giggling. It’s hilarious:

more about "A Colbert Christmas: Willie Nelson Si…", posted with vodpod

& I found this on YouTube today. It’s Leonard Cohen performing “The Stranger Song,” from 1967. So beautiful. As soon as I started watching it, I started crying. I swear, if I ever need to fake-cry for some reason, I’ll just go listen to/watch him sing/perform, and I’ll have all of the tears I need:

Anyway, hope you’re all well. More soon. xo


forever all the trembling bells of you were mine

November 26, 2008

I am trying to stay awake because I need to go pick up my parents at the train station in a while, so I thought that I’d share one of my favorite poems. It’s Anne Sexton’s “The Bells”, from To Bedlam and Part Way Back. For me, it’s wonderfully evocative and quite melancholy and achingly beautiful. I did my graduate school thesis on Anne Sexton’s work, and this is one of the poems that I never wrote about, but have always loved.

The Bells

Today the circus poster
is scabbing off the concrete wall
and the children have forgotten
if they knew at all.
Father, do you remember?
Only the sound remains,
the distant thump of the good elephants,
the voice of the ancient lions
and how the bells
trembled for the flying man.
I, laughing,
lifted to your high shoulder
or small at the rough legs of strangers,
was not afraid.
You held my hand
and were instant to explain
the three rings of danger.

Oh see the naughty clown
and the wild parade
while love love
love grew rings around me.
This was the sound where it began;
our breath was pounding up to see
the flying man breast out
across the boarded sky
and climb the air.
I remember the color of music
and how forever
all the trembling bells of you
were mine.


Thanks for reading!

I am so glad that this long, long day is over. I had a lovely night & am looking forward to being lazy tomorrow.

More soon. xo!


if all we have rests in a few moments in a library three and a half years ago…

November 25, 2008

It’s really, really cold outside and it was terribly hard to get out of bed so early. But, ah, well, it’s a holiday week & that will mean lots of rest and way too much eating over the next few days. I don’t know that I feel much like baking anything too complicated, so I’ll probably just make gingerbread for the dinner.

Atonement came from Netflix, and Mike has never seen it, so I’m excited to watch it with him. I adore it. I was a bit trepidatious when it came out, as it’s based on one of my favorite books ever, by the wonderful Ian McEwan, and I feared that it wouldn’t do the book justice. And it didn’t completely, but it did enough to make me very happy, and it was beautiful to look at, too:

atonement
(Image from the Livejournal Film Stills community)

A gorgeous and heartbreaking film, most definitely.

& You know what I’m REALLY tired of? Men coming into the Writing Center while I’m running it (as I am now) and asking me to make them coffee. DUDE. NO. I am not your secretary, nor your slave. Sigh.

But what is nice is that I got here early enough today to choose the radio station, and thus am making everyone listen to nice, soothing, and quiet classical music instead of insanely distracting loud music. Go me!

Ack, better go work. More soon. xo


now nothing's adding up and nothing's making sense

November 25, 2008

i got to take a seminar as an undergrad where we read all of miller's work. so wonderful. & i found this today on my bookshelf & remembered how much i love the cover

I found this yesterday when going through the drama section of my bookshelf. I had forgotten how much I like the cover. As an undergrad, I was lucky enough to take a senior seminar during which we read all of Arthur Miller’s work, and it was a wonderful experience. He’s amazing. & I know that it gets quoted a lot, but my favorite line from Death of a Salesman is:

“Nothing’s planted. I don’t have a thing in the ground.”

It just slays me. Sigh.

I had this burning all evening:

yes, please!

It’s so lovely, but almost too pumpkin pie-ish, which made me really, really want some damn pie. Heh. Cozy, though.

As you may know, I adore Boston Legal, and it’s sadly coming to an end soon, and tonight’s episode started to tie a few things up. And some of those things are heartbreaking. And they mostly involve beloved Denny. Oh, Denny:

i love you, denny crane

I cried through the entire second half of this episode & it looks like I’ll be crying next week, too. Goodness. Oh, Shatner, let’s be BFF, okay? And you can come wipe away my Denny tears.

& I love wearing my grandma’s old lace on my head. Weird, kind of, I know. But it’s comforting:

)

She most definitely would not have approved of that messy head of hair, though. Heh. & I didn’t mean to look so petulant there. Sorry about that.

I’m feeling melancholy and bizarre tonight, and have been listening to one of my favorite songs, because it’s beautiful, sad, and cathartic for me when I’m like this. It’s “Missing the War” by Ben Folds Five. My favorite lyrics are:

“All is quiet, his tired eyes
see figures jotted down
and clothes all strewn around
the bedroom floor.
Now nothing’s adding up
and nothing’s making sense.
She’s sleeping like a baby.
She doesn’t know he wasn’t
meant for this.”

It’s perfect. Download it here: sendspace.com/file/b18q99

I feel very strange. Okay, but strange. Confused a bit, I think. I’ll be okay, though.
Only one more long day & then three day vacation! And Tofurky! :)

More soon. xo


now nothing’s adding up and nothing’s making sense

November 25, 2008

i got to take a seminar as an undergrad where we read all of miller's work. so wonderful. & i found this today on my bookshelf & remembered how much i love the cover

I found this yesterday when going through the drama section of my bookshelf. I had forgotten how much I like the cover. As an undergrad, I was lucky enough to take a senior seminar during which we read all of Arthur Miller’s work, and it was a wonderful experience. He’s amazing. & I know that it gets quoted a lot, but my favorite line from Death of a Salesman is:

“Nothing’s planted. I don’t have a thing in the ground.”

It just slays me. Sigh.

I had this burning all evening:

yes, please!

It’s so lovely, but almost too pumpkin pie-ish, which made me really, really want some damn pie. Heh. Cozy, though.

As you may know, I adore Boston Legal, and it’s sadly coming to an end soon, and tonight’s episode started to tie a few things up. And some of those things are heartbreaking. And they mostly involve beloved Denny. Oh, Denny:

i love you, denny crane

I cried through the entire second half of this episode & it looks like I’ll be crying next week, too. Goodness. Oh, Shatner, let’s be BFF, okay? And you can come wipe away my Denny tears.

& I love wearing my grandma’s old lace on my head. Weird, kind of, I know. But it’s comforting:

)

She most definitely would not have approved of that messy head of hair, though. Heh. & I didn’t mean to look so petulant there. Sorry about that.

I’m feeling melancholy and bizarre tonight, and have been listening to one of my favorite songs, because it’s beautiful, sad, and cathartic for me when I’m like this. It’s “Missing the War” by Ben Folds Five. My favorite lyrics are:

“All is quiet, his tired eyes
see figures jotted down
and clothes all strewn around
the bedroom floor.
Now nothing’s adding up
and nothing’s making sense.
She’s sleeping like a baby.
She doesn’t know he wasn’t
meant for this.”

It’s perfect. Download it here: sendspace.com/file/b18q99

I feel very strange. Okay, but strange. Confused a bit, I think. I’ll be okay, though.
Only one more long day & then three day vacation! And Tofurky! :)

More soon. xo


with reverent hands

November 24, 2008

hi! taken last night, at mike's

Hi! I took that last night. Lowlight of doom! Heh.

Today, I took out my book of Yeats poetry to look for a particular line I wanted to write on my chalkboard, and spent a fair amount of time giggling at the annotations I made in the book when I used it in a graduate school Yeats seminar I took in 2002. When I found the poem I was looking for, I was highly amused to see this:

ha, i was going through my yeats poetry collection today (used in grad school yeats seminar) & found this annotation (of mine). what? ha!

Ha! I’m not sure if I wrote “chair sex” or “hair sex” or what, but either way, SO RANDOM. It amused me greatly. I have no idea what I was referring to there.

& Here’s my favorite quote from the poem:

a quote from yeats's "a poet to his beloved." i love this to bits

Oh, yes.

Also, I found another one of my notes. I like this one for some reason:

a random note of mine that i found in the yeats book

I slept entirely too much this weekend, but that’s okay, as I needed to catch up. Also, it’s freezing out and that lends itself to sleepiness, definitely. I took on a bunch of extra work for the next two days (subbing), because I need the money, but I am dreading getting up as early as I have to tomorrow. I’m not used to that this semester. I need to remember to allow time for my car to defrost, too. Brr!

All of that sleep has resulted in lots of lovely and/or torrid dreams. I can’t complain about that! Quite pretty.

I had apple pie tonight. Bad girl! Ah, well. It was tasty.

Still writing, still too lazy to repaint my damn nails, still eating lots of yogurt, still playing too much Animal Crossing, still living in my head entirely too much. Ah, well.

More soon. xoxo


you'll keep me guessing

November 21, 2008

Workday successfully completed! Going out to my car at 9 p.m. made me remember just how cold and how dark it gets this time of year. Goodness! I sat in the car all shivery and shaky for a while, preparing for the much-too-long drive back home. I’m semi-housesitting for my parents, so I went up and took care of some things there, and now am home and feeling rather relaxed, for once. I absolutely cherish the moments of non-panic. I can’t even use the phrase “moments of calm,” because, unfortunately, calm never really enters the picture. But I’ll gladly take the absence of panic. It’s nice.

& Tonight, I realized that I had never taken a photo of my favorite postcard. It’s hanging on my bedroom mirror, and it’s a Stella Marrs postcard that incorporates my favorite quote from Kurt Vonnegut:

this hangs on the mirror in my bedroom & i was suddenly reminded tonight of how much i love the quote. i couldn't need it more right now. i miss kurt vonnegut terribly.

Oh, my. Yes. I couldn’t need that quote more right now (for a variety of reasons, but especially regarding the terrifying writing project I mentioned in the previous post) and I also miss Vonnegut terribly. I look at that quote each day and it’s seriously one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever encountered. Just perfect.

I listened to The Go-Betweens on my I-pod tonight for the duration of my drive home and oh, my lord, they are amazing. I never tire of either of their voices, but especially Robert Forster’s. & It’s so sad that Grant McLennan died so young. So sad. Their music is beautiful, smart, heartbreaking, evocative, and wise. I don’t know that I can pick a favorite album, and I recommend them all, but I do have a special place in my heart for The Friends of Rachel Worth, mostly because it came out at a time when I needed it so much. Also, interestingly enough, all of the Sleater-Kinney girls are part of the album.

“Spirit,” from this album, is one of my favorite songs ever and no matter how many times I hear it, I always get a little teary from it. And I usually don’t like “love songs,” because they’re usually rather trite, cheesy, unintelligent, phony, etc., but not this one. No, not at all. (& Hey, Wings, you’re wrong- the world doesn’t need any more “Silly Love Songs.” GODDAMN. SHUT UP! I hate that song :) ) “Spirit” is both achingly lovely and wonderfully well-written, lyrically. My favorite part:

“There’s nothing I’ve seen
That’s ever really
Flattened me.
And there’s something
In the corner of your eye
That gets me.
Yes, there’s something
But I know
You’ll keep me guessing.

So what do you say?
Tell me what you’re thinking of,
Tell me what you’re thinking of this minute.

You’re a spirit.
You’re one thing greater
Than all the things that you are together.”

Wow. Just, wow. That knocks me over in the best possible way. Download the song here: sendspace.com/file/2j92dk & go out and get some more of their music. Wonderful stuff.

I need to figure out something to bake for Thanksgiving. I’m not terribly motivated in that area. Ah, well, I’ll figure it out. I don’t care much for the holiday, but, whatever. Yummy food is always good.

Thanks so much for reading! I do appreciate it. More soon. xo


you’ll keep me guessing

November 21, 2008

Workday successfully completed! Going out to my car at 9 p.m. made me remember just how cold and how dark it gets this time of year. Goodness! I sat in the car all shivery and shaky for a while, preparing for the much-too-long drive back home. I’m semi-housesitting for my parents, so I went up and took care of some things there, and now am home and feeling rather relaxed, for once. I absolutely cherish the moments of non-panic. I can’t even use the phrase “moments of calm,” because, unfortunately, calm never really enters the picture. But I’ll gladly take the absence of panic. It’s nice.

& Ha, I took this before going to work today. As usual, I was putting off actually leaving, and decided that taking a silly photo of myself in my “teacher-lady” attire (as I refer to my work clothes) would be fun. Apparently, biting a pen felt like a brilliant thing to do, too :) Heh. I do love that purple cardigan to bits. It’s such a nice color:

)

Yes, I know that it’s silly. Oh, yes, I know. Heh.

& Tonight, I realized that I had never taken a photo of my favorite postcard. It’s hanging on my bedroom mirror, and it’s a Stella Marrs postcard that incorporates my favorite quote from Kurt Vonnegut:

this hangs on the mirror in my bedroom & i was suddenly reminded tonight of how much i love the quote. i couldn't need it more right now. i miss kurt vonnegut terribly.

Oh, my. Yes. I couldn’t need that quote more right now (for a variety of reasons, but especially regarding the terrifying writing project I mentioned in the previous post) and I also miss Vonnegut terribly. I look at that quote each day and it’s seriously one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever encountered. Just perfect.

I listened to The Go-Betweens on my I-pod tonight for the duration of my drive home and oh, my lord, they are amazing. I never tire of either of their voices, but especially Robert Forster’s. & It’s so sad that Grant McLennan died so young. So sad. Their music is beautiful, smart, heartbreaking, evocative, and wise. I don’t know that I can pick a favorite album, and I recommend them all, but I do have a special place in my heart for The Friends of Rachel Worth, mostly because it came out at a time when I needed it so much. Also, interestingly enough, all of the Sleater-Kinney girls are part of the album.

“Spirit,” from this album, is one of my favorite songs ever and no matter how many times I hear it, I always get a little teary from it. And I usually don’t like “love songs,” because they’re usually rather trite, cheesy, unintelligent, phony, etc., but not this one. No, not at all. (& Hey, Wings, you’re wrong- the world doesn’t need any more “Silly Love Songs.” GODDAMN. SHUT UP! I hate that song :) ) “Spirit” is both achingly lovely and wonderfully well-written, lyrically. My favorite part:

“There’s nothing I’ve seen
That’s ever really
Flattened me.
And there’s something
In the corner of your eye
That gets me.
Yes, there’s something
But I know
You’ll keep me guessing.

So what do you say?
Tell me what you’re thinking of,
Tell me what you’re thinking of this minute.

You’re a spirit.
You’re one thing greater
Than all the things that you are together.”

Wow. Just, wow. That knocks me over in the best possible way. Download the song here: sendspace.com/file/2j92dk & go out and get some more of their music. Wonderful stuff.

I need to figure out something to bake for Thanksgiving. I’m not terribly motivated in that area. Ah, well, I’ll figure it out. I don’t care much for the holiday, but, whatever. Yummy food is always good.

Thanks so much for reading! I do appreciate it. More soon. xo


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