someone once described me as "twee but cranky". this post embodies that, i think.

me + candle + bedroom floor

candle + moleskine. a page from july, with quote from cohen documentary

(Me & a candle & my journal, tonight)

My mom & I saw The Duchess today. It was rather lovely & intriguing. Not amazing or anything, but I enjoyed it a lot.

I tried to go to the post office first but then I realized, oh, hey, it’s that day where we celebrate the genocidal maniac & thus, no mail. What an idiotic holiday. In high school, I wore a “Columbus Was a Murderer” shirt (handmade, sharpie and all that) to school on Columbus Day & got detention for it. Isn’t it wonderful how Catholic schools can do whatever they want, including stuff that public schools probably couldn’t or wouldn’t? WONDERFUL.


I’m getting back into Boston Legal, thankfully. Oh, how I missed my Denny/Alan. Oh, I love them. They compete with House/Wilson for my slashy heart. I can’t not watch when Shatner is on t.v. I’m too in luurve with him for that. But I hated how the last two seasons of BL focused so much on really tedious and boring tertiary characters that I didn’t give a shit about. Tonight was all Denny/Alan and that made me very happy. Bonus points for Shatner in pajamas, too. Heh! Adorable.

I also laid about & watched the Nixon episode of American Experience, because I have a cold and zero energy and figured that I might as well watch something educational. It was really interesting, as most of the AE president-centered episodes have been. I know a lot about the Watergate era, but a lot of the other stuff was new-ish to me. And honestly, I feel really ambiguous about he & his wife. The Reagan and Bush (41) episodes just confirmed my revulsion at them both, but with Nixon, I somehow feel for him, I guess. He was a horrible guy in so many ways, but I don’t really think that he intended to be. He was power-mad, but also a really paranoid, fragile, perhaps slightly insane dude. Also, Pat Nixon was okay.

But, oh, man, The Checkers Speech will never fail to make me laugh my ass off. I had a great high school history teacher who dissected it for us as we watched it and we all had a good laugh. I mean, I know that it’s historically important and all, but it’s also just so fucking ridiculous. And, yeah, it was 1952, and no one really understood how to use television as a medium yet, which makes it fascinating in a way, but, still, c’mon, do you really have to be like “HEY, WE ARE POOOOR! POOOR! I SWEAR TO GOD. WE HAVE A MORTAGE! AND A DOG! A DOG!” Goddamn. And “HEY, I AM NOT A CROOK! I SWEAR! THIS PAPER SAYS SO!” (foreshadowing!) Sigh.

And this always gets me:
“I should say this, that Pat doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat, and I always tell her she’d look good in anything.”

Okay, I get that the “mink coat” thing is a reference to something in the Truman administration, and that it is another attempt to be like “HEY WE ARE POOOR! LISTEN TO ME! I AM NIXON AND I AM POOOR!” but, SRSLY, “a respectable Republican cloth coat”? WHO WROTE THAT? What makes a coat “Republican”? Let me know so that I can go buy a Democrat coat, okay? Heh.

Also, I have a huge fondness for the ’70s in general, and footage from then, or shows, or movies, etc., mostly make me really happy and fuzzy and all those good things. It’s like nostalgia for a period I didn’t experience, I guess. Somehow, I’m irritated by people who are nostalgic for the ’90s (my formative years and all that, but I don’t understand how anyone could miss that time. I am lucky to have grown up pre-internet, pre-cell phones, and with punk and Riot Grrrrrrl and all that but I don’t miss that time at all), but I understand nostalgia for the ’70s or earlier.

I am rambling and using too many caps. Sorry.

And, for the first time (and I’ve been reading it since ’97 or so), I am not really interested in an issue of Bust. & I don’t think it says much about me changing or anything. I don’t know. I strongly dislike the cover subject, and I swear to god, if I have to read one more SMUG SELF IMPORTANT PIECE OF SHIT editor’s letter, I will pull my hair out. I hated the last issue’s letter, and I hated this one even more. All I’ll say is: 1) you can like traditional “women’s magazines” and still like Bust. I can’t believe that said editor is even bringing up that divide. Grow up. and 2) I happen to rather like the man being bashed in this month’s editor’s letter, and I thought the attacks were very hypocritical and sometimes petty. Perhaps said editor should stop being so self-righteously and smugly quasi-feminist for one second so that she might notice that her magazine is rapidly morphing into Jane. OH, SNAP. But seriously. Seriously.

I don’t like being boxed in by people who find it necessary to define what an “-ism” is all about. That’s why I haven’t called myself a feminist in years and still don’t. I realized that it had so much baggage and that I didn’t fit into the mold at all nor did I want to, so I said fuck it. I met too many self-righteous women and encountered too much self-righteous media that made me feel really pressured to be something I’m not. Listen, I’m completely women-positive. Absolutely. I’m vehemently pro-choice, and am disgusted by mistreatment of girls and women in any way, shape, or form. But I cannot deal with the weird expectations and bitchy self-righteous smugness of doom that often comes with the f-word.

So, yeah. I hope I didn’t offend. It’s not the word I hate- it’s the baggage.

This was long. Thank you so much for reading.

4 Responses to someone once described me as "twee but cranky". this post embodies that, i think.

  1. christina! says:

    Awesome post! I totally hear you about the feminism baggage – smugness of doom! Too true! You are hilarious :) xo

  2. jen says:

    i totally hear you on the nixon stuff. he totally had a lot of anxiety issues & was probably not totally mentally stable enough to be president. he was fascinating though.

    i know what you mean about the f-word issue. i used to feel similarly. a lot of the baggage stems from ignorance about what it really means to be feminist and how it’s about equality of genders rather than pro-woman or anti-male. unfortunately, because of the patriarchal culture, superficial people take the balancing act as raising women up higher than men which is not really the point. but yeah, it helps to surround yourself with feminists that know what’s up. ;)

  3. Samantha says:

    I really liked what you said about feminism & it made me think a lot about the word. I mean, I call myself a feminist, but I also liked what you said about being boxed it by in & how it comes with baggage. Thank you for posting that.

    & adorable you! Glad you are back on Boston Legal. I love hearing you talk about it.


  4. I really appreciate the responses, dears :) It means a lot to me.

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