you're one thing greater than all the things you are together

September 30, 2008

Only three more hours of being 29. Whoa! I AM OLD. Sigh.

I am very excited for sushi birthday dinner with the boyfriend, though :)

I bought myself this adorable journal at a local bookstore today:

i bought myself this lovely journal today. so cute!

inside of the lovely journal

It’s available here.

& This is me, last night, in my parents’ basement, drinking Vitamin Water and avoiding doing actual work:

)

Also, DO NOT MESS WITH MAMA!

DO NOT MESS WITH MAMA!

Ha! Heh! I love Mama’s Family so much! I used to watch it with my grandparents when I was little, and I still find it totally hilarious and comforting. There was a marathon on last night & I watched it while doing work online.

& Seriously, it’s like the cheesiest, most low-budget show ever, but totally awesome & full of really talented people.

& I am madly in love with Animal Crossing for the DS. I especially love the randomness of it. I love how it will make me giggle aloud even when I’m totally alone in my bed, playing in the middle of the night. Here’s a good example. It’s a letter from one animal to another:

dancing to indie makes me really hungry! hee!

I can relate, Filbert. Dancing to Pavement makes me totally want muffins. Heh. & I seriously need to start ending my letters/emails with “I’m growing!” Heh!

I finished lots of papers tonight so that I won’t have to do much on my birthday. I’ve been joking to people that I’m going to wear a black veil to work in mourning of my lost youth, but I am usually able to keep that slightly annoyingly pretentious overly-dramatic side of myself in check :)

Thanks for reading! xo


you’re one thing greater than all the things you are together

September 30, 2008

Only three more hours of being 29. Whoa! I AM OLD. Sigh.

I am very excited for sushi birthday dinner with the boyfriend, though :)

I bought myself this adorable journal at a local bookstore today:

i bought myself this lovely journal today. so cute!

inside of the lovely journal

It’s available here.

& This is me, last night, in my parents’ basement, drinking Vitamin Water and avoiding doing actual work:

)

Also, DO NOT MESS WITH MAMA!

DO NOT MESS WITH MAMA!

Ha! Heh! I love Mama’s Family so much! I used to watch it with my grandparents when I was little, and I still find it totally hilarious and comforting. There was a marathon on last night & I watched it while doing work online.

& Seriously, it’s like the cheesiest, most low-budget show ever, but totally awesome & full of really talented people.

& I am madly in love with Animal Crossing for the DS. I especially love the randomness of it. I love how it will make me giggle aloud even when I’m totally alone in my bed, playing in the middle of the night. Here’s a good example. It’s a letter from one animal to another:

dancing to indie makes me really hungry! hee!

I can relate, Filbert. Dancing to Pavement makes me totally want muffins. Heh. & I seriously need to start ending my letters/emails with “I’m growing!” Heh!

I finished lots of papers tonight so that I won’t have to do much on my birthday. I’ve been joking to people that I’m going to wear a black veil to work in mourning of my lost youth, but I am usually able to keep that slightly annoyingly pretentious overly-dramatic side of myself in check :)

Thanks for reading! xo


one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place

September 28, 2008

I’m staying at my parents’ house for the week because of construction at my apartment. I’ll be unable to access my apartment for a week, so I very much hope that I remembered everything I’ll need.

My parents have a HUGE plasma t.v. up on the wall in front of where I am now (in the basement) and I’m so used to a smallish t.v. with no cable that I’m mesmerized by this one. I can never seem to decide on a channel because there are so many. Also, they have surround-sound, which keeps scaring me because I’ll forget about it and then suddenly there’ll be a sound from the back of the room. Whoa!

Not that I’m complaining about any of this- it’s all awesome! It’s just overwhelming. And I kind of hate that I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from it, even when I’m trying to focus on the computer. Ah, well. I could, of course, just turn it off, but I love it.

Right now, I’m watching The X Files movie for the millionth time. It never disappoints me. I mostly love it because I’m madly in love with Martin Landau, and he’s lovely & poignant in it, but I also love almost anything to do with the show itself, so, yeah. Good times. Right now is the part where Mulder is in Antarctica and it is reminding me of one of my favorite Doctor Who serials, Seeds of Doom, from 1976.

Speaking of beloved Doctor Who serials, my lovely boyfriend kindly agreed to watch the DVD commentary on Destiny of the Daleks, from 1979, with me last night. He’s as big of a Doctor Who fan as me, but he’s not as huge of a fan of commentaries, so I was very happy that he watched it with me. I mostly love it because I’m madly in love with Lalla Ward, and she’s so hilarious and sweet and smart on it, and I was totally squee-ing half of the time, but it’s also great to hear stories about lovely Douglas Adams from everyone who was involved in the making of it (he was writer/script editor at the time) and to hear how they produced such a wonderful story on such a small budget. Mike & I wholeheartedly agree with the commentators that new Doctor Who is so very soulless in comparison to the old serials, because it’s so much about special effects now and so much less about character development. The charm seems to have gone away, along with the sweet innocence of it all. And fucking flying Daleks? DUDE. Don’t get me started there.

The weather is terribly confusing right now, because it’s hot as all hell during the day and super cold at night. I look forward to more consistent autumn-y weather, definitely.

& I’ve been watching some great YouTube vids that I just discovered and I need to go rip the audio from them so that I can have it on my I-pod. Here is the site I use to do that. My lovely friend Deanne (go check her site out- she’s super-talented and super-crafty) clued me into its existence a few months ago.

& Randomly, here’s a photo of one of my favorite dolls:

)

She’s so pretty! She’s a Tammy-esque vintage doll from Hong Kong, purchased from Shop 66 a while back.

& Here’s my beloved Fenchurch, reading all about her namesake, in perhaps the most awesome books ever :)

)

(The subject line is a line referring to her character.)
Fennie is a Coco Doll.

I best be off now, as my stomach is killing me :/ Ugh. Thanks for reading! Another post soon.

xoxo


a writer is essentially a spy

September 28, 2008

“a woman who writes feels too much, those trances and portents! as if cycles and children and islands weren’t enough; as if mourners and gossips and vegetables were never enough. she thinks she can warn the stars. a writer is essentially a spy. dear love, i am that girl.”
Anne Sexton, from “The Black Art”

on my porch, 2 a.m.

oh, how i love my moleskine! i have been writing in it like crazy lately

I have been writing so much lately. I love it. I’m learning to love the process of it all, to love my writing even when it’s not terribly well-crafted and to love it even when it’s intended for only my eyes. I fill my latest Moleskine up more and more each day. It’s a wonderful feeling.

More soon. xoxo


i feel like dancing on my own

September 19, 2008

Today was insanely busy and stressful. Oh well- it’s over now. One thing, though: Windows Vista is the devil. Seriously. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the awesomeness of my Mac and of Macs in general, but I did have a PC all of my life up until a couple of years ago, and I don’t ever remember a Windows operating system being such a fucking pain. The computers in the Writing Center run it and it constantly crashes and I actually ended up literally banging my head on the desk today because a simple process ended up taking forever. Vista = DOOM! ARGH!

Guess what? I finished the zine! Whoa! I will hopefully have some time to lay it out tomorrow night. Exciting!

& I can’t tell you how much I love this new Shatner video. It’s titled, “William Shatner Responds to Star Trek Director JJ Abrams” and addresses the decision to leave Shatner out of the new movie:

OMG, I love that man. Seriously. Somehow, he can always make me simultaneously cry and laugh. I love his silly manic energy and his kindness.
Aw, Bill, is it time marry me yet? :)
& If darling Nimoy wasn’t a part of that movie, I’d definitely boycott it. I’m already kind of scared to see it, because I have the feeling that one of my favorite shows ever will be fucked up and messed with to such a degree that I’ll never again be able to enjoy it in the same wonderful way that I do now, if that makes sense. I’m just protective of it.

Tomorrow is a day-long departmental retreat at a summer camp about a half-hour from campus. We’ll see how that goes.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Belle & Sebastian. They’re autumn music for me in the best possible way. At this very moment, I’m madly in love with “There’s Too Much Love.”

More updates on the zine soon!
xoxo


in a minute there is time

September 16, 2008

it's getting chilly out at night, so i got my hats out tonight & played around with a few

See the awesome Spock poster up there in the corner? I love it so much. It’s vintage & from Mike & I sleep underneath it. Swoon!

Things are better at the moment.
& This, from
T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” resonates today:

“In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all–
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?”

I took a quarter-long graduate seminar on Eliot’s work & it was fabulous.

My moods are allowing me to read and write at the moment, so I’m taking advantage of that. I really want to make a new zine, but I’m not sure what it should be about. I write a lot, fill up Moleskines with my writing, but I’m not sure if I want to share any of that, or if I want to write entirely new content, or what. I need to figure that out.

On the work front, I did an extra shift in The Writing Center on Monday, and it’s so lovely in there. It’s been completely remodeled (along with The Language Lab) and is just beautiful & cozy & great:

today was my first day working in the writing center this semester and OMG, it has been completely remodeled and is BEAUTIFUL. i love it.

today was my first day working in the writing center this semester and OMG, it has been completely remodeled and is BEAUTIFUL. i love it.

today was my first day working in the writing center this semester and OMG, it has been completely remodeled and is BEAUTIFUL. i love it.

Wonderful! Plus, we have really good coffee in there this year :)

& Oh! I’m really excited because the new season of House starts tonight!! Last season’s finale was so incredibly intense, sad, beautiful, heartbreaking, well-written… sigh. Just perfect. So painful and so honest. I seriously cried for a half-hour after we watched it. Yeah. Anyway, the new season starts tonight & I couldn’t be happier about that!

& One last thing- Stephen Fry’s wonderful U.K. quiz program, QI, is full of hilarious and brilliant people, especially Stephen (obviously!) and his guest-in-residence, the wonderful Alan Davies. Anyway, watch this video that came out of a discussion about Peter Cushing. It’s adorable & catchy & awesome:

Thanks so much for reading.
xo


joyeux anniversaire, mon ami

September 15, 2008

Today is the birthday of one of my closest, dearest friends. BFFs! Zach is so wonderful, so brilliant, so loving and kind, and gives me so much hope. I hope that we’ll be forever tied together by mutual love for literary criticism, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, and The Golden Girls. And, you know, by love & friendship, too :)

Plus, he lets me ramble on about William Shatner, and anyone who listens to my rambly, giggly Shatner-speak should be given a medal. Seriously!

i had dinner with bff zach tonight. sushi! good conversation! such a lovely, wonderful time

& You know when Fitzgerald said,
“sometimes i don’t know whether Zelda and I are real
or whether we are characters in one of my novels.”?
That’s how I feel about Zach & I. I’m not sure if we’re real or if we’re perhaps just in rehearsal for our parts in The Great American Novel that one or both of us is going to surely write someday. Maybe both of us should write about the same things and then we’d have a random “dual-perspective” thing going on. Hmmm… :)

So, basically, I love you, I miss you, I hope that we will be fabulously wonderful members of literary society someday, and, I hope you’ll forgive me for a late birthday package. D’oh! heh.

xoxoxo

& Oh! Peter Cushing Lives In Whitstable!


i want my body and my hands to be pools for your looking and laughing

September 15, 2008

spice2

“…I dread the time
when your mouth
begins to call me hunter.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want to summon
the eyes and hidden mouths
of stone and light and water
to testify against you.

I want them
to surrender before you
the trembling rhyme of your face
from their deep caskets.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want my body and my hands
to be pools
for your looking and laughing.”

From Leonard Cohen’s “Beneath My Hands.”

It’s so hard to hate yourself and to feel as if the world is one big burning blaze that will peel off your fragile skin if you go anywhere near it. It’s so much easier just to stay inside.

(Thankfully, there are people who understand and who help and who protect. And, thankfully, I have someone who inhabits and performs the words of that beautiful poem. Let’s just hope that this insanity is temporary.)

xoxo


the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold

September 7, 2008

I’m sorry for being away! I had a nasty cold, and then a very busy start to the new semester, and various other personal stuff going on, which all combined to make me feel very overwhelmed and tired. But I think that things are turning around now, hopefully!

I’ve made a couple of Polyvore sets lately:

new polyvore set!
(Inspired by Leonard Cohen & his song, “Lady Midnight”)

a polyvore set!
(Cinnamon was a character on the first three seasons of Mission: Impossible, played by the wonderful and lovely Barbara Bain. It’s my favorite show & she’s my favorite t.v. character of all time. Totally foxy, super smart and classy, and wonderfully fashionable. Perfect!)

& Here’s my Polyvore profile.

& I now own a copy of Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Leonard Cohen. I found it on Ebay (it’s unavailable in the U.S., but I found a Canadian copy). It’s lovely & I’m glad to have it.

& This is a shot of my living room table, taken in the middle of the night sometime last week:

the state of my living room table at 3 a.m., last night

Oh, how I love my journals! :) Click on the photo to go to its Flickr page for more info.

& This is me & my little Willie Shakespeare, taken sometime last week. Messy hair & true love! :)

i must've taken this in the middle of the night. i don't remember! heh.

I’ve been terribly overwhelmed by life lately and unsure about most things and scared, but I feel some hope again, which is great. Fingers crossed that it stays around for a while. Mikey & I have been having lovely & cozy times, watching lots of Mission: Impossible and The X-Files.

& Of course, we watched much of the GOP convention. Sigh. It was, as expected, totally depressing, hateful, ignorant, and terribly cynical. Pretty much the exact opposite of the Democrats’ convention.

I’m trying to stay positive and hopeful about the election and about life in general. I think I can, at least for a bit. I hope.

Thanks so much for reading! I’ll be updating again soon, for sure.

xo


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